as long as you walk straight, nothing wrong can happen to you.

early morning.fifty thousand people are walking on the street, and you are one of them. white collars. the usual morning in which you wake up and think about your plans over the day.the usual tram and street, the same people.     the whole scenario is a black and white picture, to which you already got used. Now, you wonder yourself if you like being part of it, or you just expect something to happen.and it happens.the whole scenario gets colored.

there’s a song in your mind.a song that makes you observe details around yourself. unrecognizable details.but don’t forget that you’re walking toward something that you see every day, and  people you see now can make you feel that nothing wrong can happen to you though you could get lost into the crowd which seems so familiar to you.

crossroads and stairs, elevators and buildings. now you got to the destination, and it’s like your thoughts were away for a few minutes.the black and white slide show is over.because as long as you walk straight, nothing wrong can happen to you.and finally, you get to the destination.

“we are free to define ourselves”

Between all the freedoms that human beings identified in their daily existence, I was inspired by what a friend of mine (thanx)called – the freedom of defining ourselves.

when you look around and try to understand this freedom it’s like a neverfinding answer to some neverending questions. but let’s take parts of this syntagm separatelly. yes, freedom is like washing your teeth. you need it, you deserve it, you enjoy the consequences of it, you smell it and have to do it, only because you have been thaught to practice it every day. imagine waking up in the  morning and being banned to enter into the bathroom and use your toothpaste. first time, you are annoyed, second time you get more annoyed and you start to react, third time you look for somebody to put the blame on, and then you get used to it. it’s just another freedom that you have been  forbidden to have. and then…you are not free anymore.

another part would be made of the verb to define, which, related to yourself seems to have quite a hard meaning. how many things you can say about you? your passions, your desires, your hobbies…who do you want over the next five years? the definition of “yourself” is practically the the most difficult definitions I ever heard of, probably because in this case you can look at your neighbor, at your friends, but it’s not about them. it’s about you.

Notwithstanding the difficulty of doing it, you can define yourself as intelligent as you want, as severe, as charismatic or as brave as you want yourself to be like. it’s not always about forecasting your future. it can be about motivating yourself to a change. and that’s because you have the freedom to do it.

yes. “we are free to define ourselves”. do you have a self-definition?

autobiography of a recent past

It happens sometimes to be in some places where you feel good.  when you need both silence and people.you experience these “sometimes” and  it is not  hard to realize  that you missed them.  but that’s how it goes. nice moments come and go. airplanes take off and land on different sides of a border. remember that line?

your recent past and the path you are now on teaches you to become a genius. to fall and get up when you’re not comfortable with your past present. you made the right thing. and you know that every interesting memory is placed on a shelf inside yourself. and that’s how it goes. if the moments you lived were so good for you, blow off the dust from the shelves from time to time(it helps). if not, let bygones be bygones. there’s a begining in everything…

every place you feel good is a place to remember. it gives you food for thought, it makes you breathe wistfully. especially when you know that you know more than before. especially when there is a yellow sheep which reminds you that a self insight after these moments make you grow up.more.

make yourself an autobiography. and decide how would you like it to look like for the next 24 hours.[ that's how it goes]

what if i cross the line?

we’re  writing about the things  we like, and  do  and think. when  we are little, we’re  told how to  deal  with some of them, when we grow  up, we  want to act  different, to hide our mistakes, to solve our problems.

there is a line that we want to  cross  over.there  is another line that we  are not allowed to cross, and a  line that   has  to  be crossed, even  if we want it or not. what is confusing in this equation is the nature of this constant  variable. Your evolution depends on it. And  there are too  many things we  depend on. Once we get to the other side of the line we  start thinking about how  to  keep in touch with the ones that were there. and are  still there. though they  do not speak anymore. no signs and old voices.  in the place we   are now we  feel  better. and  we  don’t  know which  part of our evolution was//is  more exciting. above the line…below the line.?

See  you  soon. on the other side  of the line.

[Wait]

~SPIN~

~old times~

pictures of old times make you  feel sorry  for  the things that cannot be the same anymore. there are pictures  with color and smell, memories  and snapshots of good  times. when you were there, together with those you  loved  to  spend  your time with. when  you  wished  to  be here, but  you  couldn’t  predict moments like this.when your intuition and sense of  anticipation didn’t foresee  the lack of old times. it’s useless to  dig  a way  to these times, but it worths the effort. because you remember the good ones, you remember people and moments with  your friends.

one  day in a month you  deserve to reconstruct reality, according to the feelings you  have now. You  are  allowed to  dream at  old times and places and bring them with you with the help of your  mind. friends might be the same. but they  might be others, close or distant in the same time. you realize that you  love some of them, though you know you  could  never have access to  what they  feel  about you. Old times are made to  make you compare the novelty of your existence  and become melancholic about the things that could have  happened if your  decisions had  been different.

this is why  I love old times. and memories. because the condition for which  they  inherit the name “memory”is the fact  that they remain as they happend. to make you see what  you  didn’t  see, to make you  remember faces, friends and to  create  a sort of  melancholic  feeling which  you  are pleased with. I remember what  one friend  told  me about  good old shoes[thank you], and I feel that  I wear them whenever I recall old times. and people.  I guess they  fit perfectly.

live today.live tomorrow.dialogue.[part one]

~they  think  it’s all  about  planning and thinking  about  tomorrow. they  think they  will be  kings  and lords and rich.  they  think  about  living  tomorrow and they  hope  for it.they  dream.and plan.and seek. Living tomorrow is for them  a way  of making themselves  useful, and less melancholic, because  yesterday their minds were sticked on neverending questions. should they  be happy  about  tomorrow without even  having a clue about  the end of their plans?~

[dialogue]

He’s sick, on dying. she doesn’t know.

She: Let’s  go  to the mountain we  wanted to see  a  few  days  ago.

He: Let’s stay here. The  trip  to the mountain  will  last  too  long.

She: Pleassse, I want to  see the mountains, the trees, the flowers…[begging]

He: The mountain is too  high for  me…You’re  free to  go and make your plans…

Then, she left. because  she  didn’t know he  couldn’t  live tomorrow.she  didn’t accept not making  her plans and not following the road established by  herself. he  remained still and cold. [it was today].

[end of story]

the Others never make  plans thousands  of years  before. they  live with  hope, but  they  don’t forget  that  time is not as long  as they  wish  it to be. they  remember people and places. because their  sleep  is deeper with them in their minds. they never  renounce or neglect the  thing  they are fighting  for, and this  gives them power…

[unfinished thoughts]

[can you lead the nation with a microphone?]~discourse for green microphones~

the thing …is that  i remember the microphone you gave  me last  time.  it was a green  one, and I didn’t  have the  courage  to  use it. You  told  me I can  lead the nation with it.remember?I  told  you  that I  don’t  like microphones, but still, I  took it. Now I keep  it as a memory. it was my  birthday. now, you remember?

the thing is …that now  I like microphones. especially the green ones. only  if they  could speak sometimes.It’s like hoping to  hear a close voice, or hearing the sound and not recognizing who’s  voice it is. it’s like, the day you  wanted to lead the nation, but  I told you  this is a  hard thing to do, but you answered me this is not impossible. [and you hoped.  >now, you  remember?<]

Other times we  found out  that microphones are in fact  easy to use, but it depends what  nation you  decide to lead with them, and the color.[well  yes, the color is important]. I choose the green one. It reminds me of the nation you  chose. The nation I was invited to lead, but I couldn’t .

The thing is…that  I have never had a microphone. But now I have.  A green one.

yellow sheep.2.

watching  in slow  motion the life  that passes by, the  yellow  sheep  seeks  for some  sort of  breath, some kind of way of   getting out of  her daily routine. she seeks for green  grass, but  it’s  winter. she  can’t  pretend    it’s  summer. nothing  attracts  her, though  she has many  choices. the  rest  of the  sheeps seem  to  have  found  their way. it’s cold  and  chilly. and  the  yellow sheep  is  empty.

she found a hill that  brought her  joy  and  made her  feel  accomplished>she hopes  that  someday  she will  forget who  took her  breath  away<because the  new hill is  different. or at least  she  should feel  different, because of  the landscape, because of the  simplicity she had  been  looking for. [hipnotized].the  yellow sheep breaths in.

then she  becomes  melancholic…[...]…the green  grass is  not  there anymore. she needs time to  recover. she needs intimacy and a hill  just  for  her. her  eyes and  SenSeS are affected.

[she  breaths out].

~open inquiry~[if you had one more day left, what would you do?]